About This Blog
Pre-post Confession
I wrote this post in January, 2020. I came into the new year fired up to create a new way to share my investigations of fear. Then I got nervous. What if I’m a bad writer? What if I don’t have time for regular posts? What if I can’t figure out the right way to set up the site? I let those doubts get the best of me and I came to a dead stop. I thought about blogging constantly but took no action. I can’t tell you how many times I wrote “BLOG!” in my journal in the morning and went to bed having done nothing. I might have stayed stuck but then Covid-19 happened. Suddenly myself, everyone I know, and the whole world began grappling with different flavors of fear. I know that for me the best thing I can do amidst uncertainty is take action. This blog, sharing what I’ve learned about managing different types of fear, is an action. So here I go. I have let go of any expectation about how often I’ll write, how well I’ll write, or if anyone will read but I’m giving it a shot. If you are reading this I am eternally grateful to you and I hope it helps you to read it the same way it helps me to write it. Remember that while fear slows us down at times that doesn’t mean we can never get moving again. - Dave
[Note - The rest of this post is a copy of the “about page” so if you read that you don’t need to read this. I thought some people might not go to that page but would want to know the background.]
How We Got Here
Welcome to Fear Explorer. You may be wondering what this is and why it’s here. The TLDR version is that I am really intrigued by the impact fear has in our lives and wanted a place to share my personal experiences confronting my fears as well as learning about fear in general. The rest of this post explains how I got here.
In 2019 I embraced fear. For the month of August every single day I did something that scared me. Each day I shared on social media what I was doing. The experiment was really about ego driven fear (i.e. I’ll look like an idiot singing in public) not about actual danger (i.e. Free climbing without training). It started with an impulsive decision and turned into something that really impacted my life.
When I took it on I thought it would be something to push me out of my comfort zone a little. It sure did. I kept finding new things that made me uncomfortable. I discovered that I hadn’t even realized some of the ways fear was subconsciously holding me back. I improved at identifying my fears and their causes. Every completed challenge left me a little more confident. By the halfway point I couldn’t wait to take on the next fear. It delivered personal growth beyond my wildest hopes.
What I didn’t expect was the way it impacted my connection to other people. Sharing each experience on social media formed an important part of the challenge. It forced me to confront my discomfort with revealing my emotions publicly. No being cool and managing the message, each post spoke openly of fears that were sometimes embarrassing, uncomfortable, or seemed like they would make me look bad. What would people think of me?
It turns out people thought it was awesome. I received waves of daily support from friends, family and complete strangers. When I run into people instead of superficial discussions about the weather they would immediately go deep into what seeing my experience meant to them. Months later it’s still the first thing friends bring up if I haven’t seen them since August. Numerous people told stories of how seeing the challenge encouraged them to face their own fears. It also opened the door for people to reach out for support when they needed it.
For me the effect continued well past the end of the challenge. Once I began the habit of identifying where fear was stopping me, examining that fear, then finding ways to push past it, I couldn’t stop. It impacted everything from trying new foods, to being more assertive at work, and even connecting more deeply with friends and family by openly sharing.
Ironically it also showed me that I have more fear to confront. With fear it isn’t enough to get past it once, you have to keep confronting the echoes of those fears. Digging past surface fears unlocks deeper fears to face. This isn’t about becoming fearless, it’s about becoming an expert at not letting your fears control you. Fear’s flourish in the dark and hate it when they are looked at too closely.
Having seen the incredible impact of this relatively short experience I wanted to learn more. I began consuming anything I could about fear. Books, articles, TED talks, anywhere I could learn more. What is fear? What triggers it? What can we do about it? So many questions we rarely think about for something that motives many of our daily actions. I also kept confronting fears. I haven’t set a specific timeline but I’m regularly calling out when I realize I’m running up against a fear.
This blog is a place to share my ongoing journey. I want what I am learning to be of value to others. I want others to share their learning with me. I want the accountability of this communication tool. The idea of starting a blog makes me really uncomfortable. I worry no one will read it, I’ll drop the ball on adding content, my writing isn’t good enough, it should have videos, how would I do videos, and on and on down the fear tunnel. It makes me so uncomfortable that there is no choice but to do it.
Thank you for joining this journey. Let’s get braver together.
- Dave
